That mistake was gold..

You assured me that I'd be fine if I complied:

Great song but anyways, sorry it's been awhile, I wanna say a lot has gone on, but it hasn't, haha. Nothing really new, just a week closer to summer.. which means. finals. Alright, awesome cause I'm not complaining. I KNOW one of the best feelings in the world for a student is finishing your finals and being able to celebrate summer! Like I said.. ONE of the best feelings ;)

Well I mean my weekend was pretty decent, I'm getting some legit glasses.. yes, I need glasses -_-, not like I'm blind but I just need them to see things far away and at night. The glasses I picked out look sweet and I must say I'm pretty excited to get them.

SIDE NOTE: I really think my day went from good to... wow. That's probably the best expression for what I'm feeling. I feel like as soon as I'm content, there is always a reminder of what I'm constantly trying to forget. I was doing really well.. I am doing really well, I'm doing well without you, even without the thought of you. I have never wanted to be left alone so much in my life.

Other than that, know what really "grinds my gears"? (GUESS?!) Whenever you've made plans for a certain weekend and then on that exact weekend there are so many things that just happen to pop up. LoOoOve it. 

I miss my friend, she's a sister now and I just miss her that's all. Turns out we won't be seeing much of each other for a LONGG time, ha. I really do miss you, let me see you sooon.

I'm also excited for upcoming events, (not including summer) BUT with summer comes all my friends home from college :) I can't wait to see everyone.. well just a few people actually, but it'll be good to have some people home and able to see them whenever I want. Also excited about starting a new job, I've applied a few places and I'm really looking forward to having money, not necessarily the work, haha. Also, once I have enough money, looking to get my own place with my friend Sam. In other words, I'm really READY for it to be summer. 

So-

friends: come home

summer: hurry your ass up

sister: i miss you

& life: please stay constant for at least one day

peace.

"Jaaaaame"

As if you didn't know:

I have this friend, she is one of the best, if not, one of the greatest friend I've ever had. 

Though we've been in each other's lives since like freshman year of high school, she really has grown to be one of the best people I know. Definitely one of my better friends, has been there for me I would say every time I needed her and I could always say just what I'm feeling/thinking and I never had to watch what I said and you would listen, not many of my friends do that. 

I really don't have any friends like her, to be honest. She's a lot different from me, if you know us both, you know what I'm talking about. If I could like describe our relationship, it's probably a lot like these pictures:

So here's to you Jamie Jones,

First I just want to say that I love you a lot, I'm not quite sure you know

 how much I love you. I don't know if you know how much I really adore you, our friendship, everything about us. You have been so much apart of me lately that I don't even think there could be a Jen without a Jame. Believe me when I say that I will make every effort to be your friend until we can't be friends anymore (that means dying.) You make me so happy, even though you d

on't let me dead weight you. I can't imagine my life without you anymore. No matter where we both end up, I promise we'll stay friends. You m

ean everything, EVERYYYYTHINNNGG to me, seriously. I've had friends that have come in and out of my life and you have certainly always been there, right next to me, so thanks. For real Jame, thank you for everything that you do for me. Thank you for being my best friend. I love you, I love you, I love you.

ps. I love to watch you dance.

Love your friend,

Jen

We're comatose but audible

Once said, always said:

"Love is a risk,

you always get hit 

out of no where,

by a wave and

end up on your own."

I just realized I have only have today and tomorrow left for the week. I don't have any class on Thursday due to some convocation thing so that's pretty exciting. This week just feels really short or something, haha. I feel like the end of school is near and I don't really know what to do. Well I DO know what to do but the thing is actually doing it. I'm gonna be doing a lot this summer/end of the year and I just need to get things done. One thing at a time though, I can't work any faster than that.

Speaking of summer, I'm just ready to for it to be here, I just don't think you all understand how READY I am for summer. Ready to be out of here, ready to get life started, haha (like it hasn't been started already) I would just like summer to be here, I wanna see my friends, I want to do summer things! Like swimming, and just doing nothing. Okay, I actually won't be doing nothing all day but still it will feel like summer.

So soon I'm gonna be writing one WHOLE blog on my friend Jamie Jones, hahah. I told her a while back that I was gonna do it and so it will be coming soon! Just an f.y.i (I don't even know why I put that, I don't use shit like that)... fyi and asap ..haha lame.

Alright, well really nothing interesting is going on, just school. There's only a few weeks left, so that's pretty nice to think about minus the fact that finals are like the last week and then I'll have to move alllll my stuff out of the room. That's gonna be a pain, no doubt, oh well. I'm ready for everyone to be home though, a couple friends in particular though. Plus me and my friend Michael are putting a co-ed indoor soccer team together this summer, so if you're good and interested let me know! ...Nice.

Alright, I'm done friends.

You know that you are not alone,

need you like water in my lungs.

Besides, we can't believe without fear.

Sometimes I just don't feel like it:

I don't feel like writing, I feel like I wanna say a lot but I don't want to say it. I don't want to say what I want to say because I don't want anyone to hear, if that makes sense. I believe it does.

I think that's why I've been avoiding writing this blog. I have a lot of shit to do and a lot of shit that's gone down and I just feel like I want everything to be over and I want no emotions involved... wait. Okay I really just want it to be summer. I want everything to be fine. I want a job, I want my own apartment, I don't want to do school, and I want to feel nothing allll in between.

I'm just ready for the next chapter. READY, ready... ready.

Anyways, I'm about to watch some movies on my computer and probably just chill out for the night unless something else comes up, but so far doesn't look like it! Oh well though, it can be a chill night, I don't mind. Haven't really felt like doing much lately. All I do is school now a days and that's not even looking good for me because I suck at test taking, it's official now. I wish I didn't suck at school.

you can write the coolest songs,

i was wrong, 

yeah, i'm always wrong...

i'm the one that is happy,

i don't like your shitty songs,

you were wrong,

you were always wrong

Today we (the girls) took pictures and it was cool at first then just got annoying, I just think that we all can't be together for a long time anymore cause to me, it just gets annoying. Not the girls, just the whole picture taking... okay maybe a little bit the girls, haha.

Ah.

I'm done writing in this.

So you think that I'm broken, well you're wrong. I've got news for you my darlin'

Currently:

Feeling overwhelmed with a few things. I think I'm almost glad I found out what I did when I did, things like this help me make my decisions easier. I thought maybe I'd be okay doing one thing but then you just pull stuff like this and if I don't remind myself why it's over, you certainly do. So thanks, right before my birthday. No really, thanks. I feel better.

School is always overwhelming but you all know that. I have a lot to do in one week, I guess school work just comes in waves of a lot of work at once. Oh well though, only a few more weeks. I'm really excited for summer. I'm so ready to finish somethings and definitely begin new ones.

So my birthday is tomorrow, such a lame day. Tuesday. I think I'll make the best of it though, really, I will. I mean I do have a handful of good friends and I think I'll be alright :)

and you can tell your husband,

all the evil things, 

we did together,

when no one else was there.

i ran my hands through your dark hair.

This weekend though, SOMEONE bailed on me, so I'm not quite sure what all I'm doing. Wanted to go down to Austin again and stay for this Bob Marley Fest. that's going onnnnn, butttt doesn't look like it's gonna work out. We'll see what it comes down to though.

Ready to have a good week, and I highly doubt anyone is gonna get in the way of that this week, I'll make sure of it.

Skype Skype liggaly Lype.

You know that mood?:

The one where you're just in  a good mood for like no reason? I mean it's not even like everything is like in it's place or anything, actually, everything isn't even that good right now, but still, I just am in one of those good moods. I think I like it.

So this week is going by pretty fast I would say. It's Wednesday already and I only have 1 class today, my 1 o clock got cancelled, so that's pretty exciting. and in my 230 class we're just peer reviewing haha, lame but it's easy.

WELL this weekend will be reallly fun I think. It's my pre-birthday weekend and I have two very good friends coming in. Mereditha will be in on Thursday and I'm taking her out and showing her what a Denton Thursday night consists of! haha It'll be fun, I haven't seen her in awhile. Then LooooooMoooooo comes in on Thursday too, we'll see if she comes out with us, if not we're gonna do something Friday night to celebrate my birthday, haha! Apparently it is my other friend Taylor's birthday a couple days before mine so we'll have to do it big this weekend. Then Saturday hopefully I'll get some chill time with my friend Sam (she's one of my favorite friends)

Hopefully next semester while I go to PTA school, her and I can get an apartment together, I believe that will be the highlight of my year, no joke. We'll see if that's even a possibility though, HOPEFULLY! (crosses fingers)

Oh so an update on school (since I already gave it away), I'll be doing some schooling to become a Physical Therapy Assistant or Tech to start working in the Physical Therapy area. Eventually, I'll come back and get my Bachelors. We'll see how it all pans out though. But basically I won't be in Denton next semester, no more tdub for me. No doubt I'll be visiting a lot but I won't be at school here, phew.

In other news, uhhhh. I'll probably go home for a little bit this weekend, I figured it's been awhile plus I need to get some stuff situated for next semester and what not. Hopefully my phone will be up and running soon.

but I'm trying really hard to stay focused on school. I mean I feel like I'm staying focused and focusing on school when I need to and still doing fun things at the same time. I guess we all just have different ways of handling responsibility, mine isn't necessarily the "normal" way but I think I can get things done, while still being cool (cool smile) at the same time.

Other than that, nothing is new, just ready for the weekend to be here, OH and summer needs to hurry too, I feel like it's taking it's time and just laughing at us, the one's in school. Real childish summer, REAL childish.

ATX weekend.

Austin, Texas:

This weekend in Austin there is a little thing called the relays. I say little, but it's really not, it's actually a huge thing. Apparently the whole black community, minus a few, go to Austin for the weekend and watch a big track meet and then go to after parties and what not. I know I know, why did i go, right? Wellllll I just like Austin basically, and why not go a long for the ride PLUS I wouldn't mind staying with my good, dear, awesome friend Liz and her baby Aydeeeee (Ayden)

So it actually ended up being really hectic and then slowed down and became a reallllyy fun weekend. Just the jist: drove down saturday during the day, chilled, got ready, went to eat, went out, came home, woke up, went to the outlet mall in San Marcos, ate, drove home. T'was fun, and no lie, I didn't do much but I really had a blast!

I was all of the above, H to H.

Overall it was a legit weekend and me and d baby are going back soon! I would say in a couple of weeks or so :)

I reallly miss my friend Jamie, we had this like time period of like not talking/seeing each other and I really don't even know why, haha. But now I'm having like Jamie Jones with drawls or something cause I miss her a lot. Plus, I just love her so much & want to be with her always ;) ... or something like that.

This weekend is Easterrrr,,, woo? I don't even know if that's like a big deal. Wait, it is right? I mean I was talking with my roommate earlier and apparently it's like a time where you go home? I just thought you go to church and maybe lunch? OH well, cool I guess. Going home isn't that bad, ha!

mmmm, i miss you.

So I'm really in desperate need of a phone. This whole not having a phone isn't really working out anymore, it's an inconvenience and now it's just starting to get annoying. I really wish parents would just think things through before doing stupid things, but I guess when you're old, you wear you're emotions on your sleeve! Do what you do I suppose.

Well time for another week of school, wooooooo hoooo. I really am ready for school to be done with this semester, next semester I really need to get some better classes, these kinesiology classes aren't doing it for me. I get bored and the classes just aren't that interesting to me anymore, like at all. We'll see how next semester goes, summer please hurry, I'm tired of waiting for you to come around.

Some of my favorites

Just song lyrics today kids:

it scares me to think, that you could find takers

other than me, and better than me

but your head is elsewhere, and i'm talking

enough for both of us.

when will you see, it's not 

so easy for me.

shows that we ain't gonna stand shit

shows that we are united

shows that we ain't gonna take shit

shows that we ain't gonna stand shit

shows that we are united

...are the wonders of my world.

it's called the past cause i'm getting

passed and i ain't nothing like i was before,

you outta see me now,

yes i was burned but i call it a lesson learned.

by the way

by your side i'll stay

if that's okay

then by your side i'll stay, forever

here i am standing up

because i want to fall in love with you.

i am heaven sent,

don't you dare forget.

i am all you've ever wanted

what all the other boys all promised,

coordinate brain to mouth,

then ask me what it's like to have

myself so figured out,

wish i knew...

every line is about who i don't want

to write about anymore,

hope you come down with something

they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for,

holding on to your grudge,

oh it's so hard to have someone to love,

oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body

that works harder than my heart.

you constantly make it impossible to make conversation,

we're comatose but audible,

and i like it the farther i get out,

we pass it off but it's all on us,

for common conversation,

it took everything i go,

and i like it the farther i get out,

i am hellbent on extracting all of my revenge,

take heart, sweetheart, or i will take it from you.

if i say who i know it just goes to show

you need me less than i need you,

we're only taking turns,

holding this world,

it's how it's always been,

when you're older you will understand,

and then again, maybe you won't.

note to self:

i miss you terribly,

this is what 

we call a tragedy

come back to me, back to me, to me,

and i'm sick of this scene,

i need a break from routine.

i am running out of patience,

seems that we have run out of time,

but it's another fight for another night,

i got to get you off my mind,

and i'm thinking that i should walk away,

and the catch is, you know,

that i can't let you go,

through the good times and the bad times,

you know i love you so.

tryin' to make the wrong things right,

sayin' oh my god, what have i done,

and i can barely see to drive,

the sun is gone down,

now i'm goin' with it.

there's one light on the road tonight,

it's nice to know that somebody else is alive,

and when i get lonely in my mind,

i think i need somebody all the time,

but don't judge me on my past,

i feel bad just running away from that,

and i can never make anything last,

and it feels bad, i feel bad

that's a lot, sorry if you it's too much

but i could've put a lot more. just thought

i'd let the music do the talking this time.

"And who told you to take your time, cause we got none and we need some.."

April Fool's Day?:

It's been an interesting week. I mean my week was probably busiest at the beginning the settled down towards the end (which is tomorrow) I do have a math test though, but I feel like I've been learning a lot in there so maybe I'll get a good grade... for once -_-

ps. i hate math.

But Monday me and my friend Jamie, you all know her.. well we I took her to this legit place, that must not be named, that's like made of like plants and rocks and shit, it's really cool looking. well we decided to like get a metal box and like decorate it and put like little things that remind us of .. well us. it's a super cute idea, hers of course. But I think it's gonna be legit. We were talking about everything that we were gonna put in our box and it was just funny to think about everything that we have that's like us. So that's gonna be sweet.

Tuesday was definitely my busiest day but I had a practical for my lab. It actually wasn't that bad, I thought I wasn't gonna know a lot but I think he took an easy on us, which is always nice. OH and for my kins class we were having like presentations and these girls did their presentation over like energy drinks and they like brought everyone energy drinks, twas delish!

& now today is Wednesday, sweeeet -_- I just don't like Mondays and Wednesdays. I have class till like 4 and it's just a big lame day. I'm excited for the end of the week though, I'm pretty sure I'm going down to to the ATX with D baby and company, it's gonna be legit. 

we spend some time together crying, 

spent some time just trying, 

to let each other go,

i held your hand so very tightly

and told you what i would be 

dreaming of.

there's nothing like you and i.

So it's officially April, does everyone know what that means? .. You don't? 

April 1st ..... April..

Okay well for those who don't know my birthday is currently in 13 days. (slap it)

plus, today is April 1st which means April Fool's Day, 

& we're about to get someone good :) 

There's like three things I want for my birthday:

ahem (clears throat)

1) my freaking phone to up and running again.

2) to be with someone... (looks around)

3) to just be happy on my birthday, enjoy myself. be happy.

We'll see how it ends up though, I bet I only get one out of those three 

and if you know me, you can probably guess which one, or maybe you can't.

PEACE.