I'm still fly, I'm sky high

Update:

STILL summer, and with summer comes summer school, which I'm currently in. I honestly thought it was going to be worse than I thought but now that I'm actually in it, it's not too bad. I have one friend in there that I know but we have YET to sit next to each other, haha. It's all good though.

STILL haven't found a job. MYYY GODDD what does it take to get a freaking job around here? I know I'm not the only one NOT getting jobs, I'm just saying, it's never been this hard. Hopefully things will turn around soon. I swear I've applied to places I don't even like. (sigh)

In other news-

I'm loving summer, I love swimming and getting tan and I just love being with friends and just enjoying summer all around. I have free time and time to just chill. Plus I can swim whenever I want and it just feels nice. Things are over all doing well, I miss a few of my friends but it's the same ol.

i have an addiction and it's gonna take a lot more than

just saying it out loud to over come this, 

god, please help me.

In life there are choices. I've learned that sometimes you have to choose between two different things. You have to let your head choose rather than your heart. You have to actually think out decisions, you have to literally sit down and think about what you have to do. Why I haven't done any of that is beyond me. Maybe dealing with my emotions and what I really need rather than want is not something I'm ready to do. But when? When will I be ready? I can't be waiting for a sign because hell, there's been too many signs thrown at me. Gah, I wish I had someone who completely understands and can actually physically help me, and hold my hand the whole time. dammit.

Sorry I'm getting so deep but I promised myself this summer would be the summer of change and dammit, I'm gonna keep to my word. Ugh, I make things so much harder than they are. 

But besides that: Summer is all that I've needed.