I'm focused, I'm thinking like I got two brains.

Things are finally starting to look up:

Everything just seems to be falling back into place. Maybe it's just one of those 'good mood' days but things have been good for me. I won't like go into detail about things but I just would like to throw it out there that things are looking up for me.

What I do need to be focused more on, is school. I've been slacking in that general area, I wouldn't say my grades are slipping (well some are) but mostly I haven't been completely focused. There ar e two things right now that I would like to be more focused on right now. They are: getting/finding/keeping a job, and focusing/doing well in school. (those are sort of, phrases but you get my drift)

As some may know, I've been searching for a job but haven't been searching. I've tried to go real job hunting but getting a job these days is so ridiculous. I wouldn't necessarily blame the economy or anything (because I have been lazy on my part) but still, what the heck do I have to do to get a freaking job. The whole job situation is getting sort of out of hand. I feel like my parents won't give me any more money cause I'm not even earning it. (haha) but still, I'll die.

As of school, well there has just been two things in particular that are keeping me 'un-focused' on school. 1) this person who must not be named 2) just my "social life" (cheesy, i know but it's the damn truth) I really should focus more, and I say focus as if I didn't have to focus hard enough week last week to finish tests and papers, yet it keeps coming though.

Speaking of.. I do have some lab reports to get to, but I won't get to them tonight because I don't want to turn the light on and wake my roommate (after everything she does for me, the least I could do is let her sleep)

random fact: I am currently becoming addicted to red bull

I've learned something interesting about myself recently. Something that calms me down (besides doing one thing that I won't put on here) is listening to lil wayne. That is so weird, I know. You would think that listening to something less chaotic would calm me down but I love to listen to him. I also learned that I do have some really good friends out there, regardless of all the times that I say that my friends suck, I would say I have about two or maybe three good (really good) friends. So thanks really good friends for being really good friends to me.

That is all.

"Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up.."

Sorry I haven't updated this in awhile but I'll try to keep up from now on:

I've been really missing someone lately and it really hurts, like I've been hurt before but this realllllyy hurts. You know what? I am usually not the one who is missing, I'm usually the one that's missed (that kind of sounds bad but, whatever) I guess it's different this time.


Anyways, this week has been super super hectic for me (school wise). I've had two exams, a practical and a paper due alll this week. I mean I know that probably doesn't sound like a lot for college but.. it is. I'm only a freshman, give me a break.

I'm really learning a lot about myself throughout this semester. I've learned that I'm not only really sensitive but I hide it well and I don't let anyone know what I'm thinking or feeling (at the time) I did one of those twenty -five facts about yourself on facebook and I was reading it last night and noticed that most of my facts, we're kind of ... I guess like, sad? or like down-ish (meaning, they were happy or funny) I usually am happy or funny.

Maybe that's growing up? ..

nah.

I'm only eighteen, haha. Speaking of facebook though, I've had the most random people fb (facebook) chat me recently. People that wouldn't I usually talk to over fb. I thought it was sorta cool (smile)

This is all for now, I'll have a lot to write about tomorrow. Got two big events.. well one really tomorrow. I'll keep you guys posted.




"..These are the best days of our lives."

Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins

I've decided to start this blog:

I've seen other people do these things are they really are interesting. I'm not so sure how much I'll keep up with it but this is probably my favorite type of writing and hopefully someone will enjoy reading my shhhtuff. (stuff)

I really wanted to start this thing because I'm thinking maybe it'll help me relieve some stress from life, I guess. I don't plan on using correct grammar or proper english for that matter in all of these, but I guess I could try, Haha. I'm not really sure how much I'll be writing in this but I mean I'm really thinking I might like this a lot.

Tonight was really .. I guess interesting would be the best word I could use. First, I called my "best friend" (those are SUPER BIG quotes) and I just wanted to talk, really. This person said they would call back and didn't. Tonight I seemed to get my feelings hurt really easily. Second, one of my friends asked me to take the blame for (reason why we got tickets) so that he could be let off the hook. Like, REALLY? I have tickets and tuition to pay for, I have other things to worry about too but listing them all will just be a waste of time. 

No one can help me except for, well, me. 

Slowly, I will learn responsibility but very slowly.

This blog wasn't so cheery, usually I will write cheery (yeah I like the word cheery) things but tonight took a toll on me. meh. 

"we'll crucify the insecure tonight

we'll make things right, we'll feel alright tonight

we'll find a way to offer up the night tonight

the indescribable moments of your life tonight

the impossible is possible tonight

believe in me as I believe in you..

tonight."