And in this moment I am happy, happy,

I wish you were here:

So I'm sitting here in San Antonio and man does it feel good to get out of the Dfw area. I do love being home with my friends in the comfort of what is "home" but sometimes it's definitely nice to get away.

Recently I've been thinking about moving down here to go to school. Still working on that idea but it's looking pretty good. I could live with my cousin, she has her own apartment and I'd be able to drive to and from school. I'd get a job down here and just work and go to school. It'd almost being like starting a new life, a fresh start. I like that idea.

I've just been going through so much unnecessary shit that it really takes a toll on someone, you know? There's only so much one person can handle both physically and emotionally. (sigh) Although I know starting over would be nice, I know, I knowww I will miss a few certain people.

I have good friends, or at least I like to think so. Still, there are those instances when I question my friend's motives. I know that people aren't perfect but no reason to be a shitty friend. Keep to your word, keep your mouth shut, and listen when people talk.. the epitome of a good friend to me. Again, I'd like to think I have good friends.

Being here also makes me miss you, every time I'm here I'm reminded of you. How much I miss you, how much I love you. It's also a constant reminder of what I can and cannot have. There isn't a day that goes by that I think about us, it's SO frustrating and it's not at the same time. Sometimes I think about you and get sick to my stomach, literally. Most the time though, I can't help but smile.

wait one minute cause i don't know what to do,

you say that i'm the only one and that i'm so perfect for you,

but i knew that this would happen

and i knew that i'd panic & i knew we'd fall apart,

and i gave you my heart, my heart, i gave you my heart-

so this is my apology and i hope it means something

and i hope you will forgive me, cause i am falling apart.

Gotta get my shit together, and QUICK, so while I'm doing that I'm gonna try to enjoy the last weeks of summer and possibly the last weeks of Keller that I can. I'm not sure why life has to be so complicated, but I'm pretty sure if they weren't I wouldn't be able to live.